When reality bites...

I Feel Your Absence

yoyodl — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 14:39:41 +0000

Hello little one
Oh how you have been missed
Plenty of tears were shed when we lost you
Your sweet face, your gruff attitude, your funny ways

Your suffering was hard to see
Yet the tenacity of your spirit inspiring
We could see your love, your big brown eyes shone
But with each painful step we knew saying good bye had to come soon

We were all there for you little one
Surrounding you with love
We wanted for you to know that in that instant
Those who cared for you the most would be there to see you finally rest

I feel your absence little one
No more will the be poop walks and sudsy poops
I’ll miss your snorts and silent but potent farts
Your knowing looks and obsessive choco bone jaunts

Bumper you now play among the stars
Watching over us all as we move foward reluctantly
Litle one,it will take a lot to miss missing you
But know that even in your absence we continue to love you!

I’ll be there….

yoyodl — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:00:46 +0000

Life takes each of us on a different road
some are froth with challenges
some seem like they’re filled with the latest and greatest
the journey we take is often made alone
Yes, we’ll have companions join us from time to time
but there are parts often maybe during what seems like hard times
when it feels like we are once again just left on our own
to travel and battle this life’s journey alone.

You and I are now on this path together
and where this road takes us we don’t know
the way has been a wonderful one so far
Yes there are bumps and obstacles to overcome
and though you and I don’t know how long this one will run
You should understand that I want to be with you ever and ever after

Many find their destiny’s road together
I hope that is what we have here forever
we’ll walk, we’ll ride, we’ll dance on it some more
figuring our way in light and dark, in sun and rain
I don’t wanna travel a different road anymore
and surely don’t want to travel alone, that’s for sure.

However you feel about our journey so far
I offer up this thought if it helps.
My love, our destiny’s road…may be here and now
If you’ll have this forlorn traveler at your side
I’ll walk with you, carry you, ride those trails with you
My promise is that I’ll be there with you step by step
forever and a day if I must, on this you can assuredly trust.

Proverb for a Foolish Foolish Heart

yoyodl — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 08:35:59 +0000

The exuberance of your inexperience is telling young lad
You wildly flay the notions of your heart strings for all to see and hear
Foolishly less cognizant that there are two hearts at play here.

Foolish foolish heart , you’ve harbored on drowning the object of your affections with so strong displays that the balance between you bears away from where you want it to go.

Take heed lad, to listen to your lady’s admonitions, slow the progress of your ministrations lest you overwhelm her and threaten the fragility of your relations.

Foolish foolish heart be as the tortoise wise and steady, side with the still smallness of the interactions within your hearts and thus less outrageous with your proclamations far and wide.

In the end foolish heart growing what’s in the small space that dwells between each of your hearts and souls together overshadows the praise brought about by the voices that watch your love’s progress from a far.

Take heed dear heart err on the side of silence and understanding…….

Where my heart is….

yoyodl — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:25:39 +0000

I’ve often heard it said that “Home, is where the heart is”…

well beloved, then by that simple measure, home must be where you are,

for I feel that my heart resides with you.

You feel like home, a place where there is a hearth that warms my soul

rooms to provide me comfort, places where my body and mind can belong

without thought of fear or reservation.

Home to me is the love you share from your heart and soul

the little things that make me breathe in life and live out joy.

Home to me is a niche in the wall of life where I have finally found

a place I just fit into as if it was made just for me and includes you.

You feel like home, something I’ve looked for but never quite

realized except in moments of wishful thinking until I touched you

and knew that you were for real.

If sweet beloved, home truly is where my heart is, then I know I’ve found

an abode I’ve sought. It is found where our two hearts reside, side by side.

Distraction

yoyodl — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:38:00 +0000

You are the sweetest type of distraction

one I look forward to day in and day out

whether its the memory of how your hair smells

a vision of your lovely face

the hint of your skin on my skin

I can’t help but think about you

its distracting

But its the greatest kind of distraction

one that I don’t mind falling into

again, and again, and again

because when I am in my trance

and nothing else matters except

per chance

a moment spent holding you, caressing you

kissing you and making love to all of you

I am fully fully aware of the bliss it brings.

You are the sweetest, greatest distraction

one I look forward falling into day to day

you’ve seduced me and won my heart over

one hundred fold.

I wish never to lose that distracted power you have over me

For in you I know I’ve struck pure gold.

You, Joanne are a distraction

I want to always have constantly from now

til I am well considered very, very old.

Muse

yoyodl — Thu, 28 May 2009 17:24:07 +0000

Dionysus could not contain himself…he knew it was wrong to have these feelings for this woman…but everything in his godly being told him he had to have her….he loved her…and though the gods would disapprove he needed to express how he flet and so in a fit of creative candor he set out to let the world know he wrote her a poem….

“inspiration
to sing, to dance
to create and pro create
to laugh and cry tears of joy
a measure of growth if not in wisdom then in life

inspiration
to bring about change
and live a life full of happy moments and memories
to write, to make art in all its form

inspiration
to be the most I can be
if only to bring something new to you and me

inspiration
if that be the definition of a muse
then sweetie that you are to me.”

Dionysus’ declaration made young Eros smile…. “I guess”…he thought to himself, “it wasn’t so bad that I missed Herakles with that arrow….old Dio is pretty funny acting like this…”

with that the mischievous little god disappears off in the distance…leaving the god of ecstacy in his love bitten state.

Waking life…..

yoyodl — Wed, 20 May 2009 17:59:29 +0000

The man woke from his deep deep sleep….there was a clear purpose he had in mind…he had to write what he just saw in his mind….it was compelling….this is what he set pen to paper…..

“Luvly is the morn
when in that space between sleep and waking
not quite in a dream
my mind sees your beautiful eyes and sweet smile
it gives me pause….
do I want to open my eyes and face the day ahead?
or stay here in this state and see you and enjoy you perfect in my head.
No… I awake for that brings a promise
one that surpasses any fleeting image my mind’s eye can conjure up
it is the promise that you are out here, real for me to hold and touch and kiss and hug

Yes, luvly is the morn
in that space between sleep and waking
not quite in a dream….
but nothing, no nothing replaces your eyes and your smile when you are with me
not even a perfect figment of my imagination.”

With that he set about starting his day….completely and utterly happy.

A Change of Pace

yoyodl — Fri, 08 May 2009 08:00:55 +0000

Corey could hear his pulse in his head he was out of breath, he’d lost his cadence and for a long distance ride like this that was bad. That last hill took a lot out of him.

“damn it why did you go all out you didn’t need to” was what he was telling himself.

He got out of rhythm attacking that hill instead of holding back and just climb it as he usually did.

“Stupid, stupid..you still have a ways to go….can’t afford to bonk out of this ride because you weren’t using your head.”

Corey had been riding since he was eight years old. His dad gave him his first bike back then and within two days he was off the training wheels. The boy was a natural, he learned at an early age how his cadence made all the difference in long distance riding. He was never into racing, no not in it for a prize or to compete. Corey was a tourer from the start. He and his friends would go places as little boys riding countless miles on a weekend, they pick a direction and go to no where in particular.

He loved the feeling of accomplishment in being able to ride out and back on his own. It gave him a strong feeling of completeness.

“Okay, slow down, breathe, hydrate…can’t afford to get any more cramps with 20 more miles to go…Shouldn’t have sprinted like that…god what were you thinking.”

Corey loved cycling it was the one activity he felt allowed him to really get into himself and focus…it was like a meditative state. Though it was hard work whe he was on those two wheels he was the most relaxed he could be. The rhythm of the pedals turning was oddly enough…soothing to him.

“That’s it, there it is….my cadence is back, keep at this and the miles will just melt away…you can do this, you can do this….”

Though he had no qualms about riding in a group or with someone else, Corey loved the solitude of riding by himself…..”the loneliness of the long distance rider” he often described it. Its partly why he rides, so he can disconnect from everyone and everything for a few hours.

“one more big hill and then it’ll be flat land the rest of the way….”

He’d always been alone or a loner as others would describe it, never feeling he really belonged….yes he was social but it never felt natural….cycling made him forget that uncomfortable feeling. Replaced it with a sense of accomplishment.

“You can do this, ain’t nothing, ain’t nothing….that’s all you got Mr. Hill…here yah go…almost there…almost there.”

As he crests the top of the big hill, conquering it at his own pace with the cadence he was comfortable with, Corey settles into a stronger more aggressive rhythm as he begins to hit the flat part of the course….

“There you are!!!” he suddenly hears a familiar voice come from a side road…”I knew it wouldn’t take you long to catch up….”

He realizes who it is as she rides up along his side….it was Mila….["where did she come from?"]

“I thought I’d wait for you and ride in together, I noticed you dropped back from the pack back there at that other hill…are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Corey replied, “I didn’t want to push it too much for the last leg, just in case this his proved to be more difficult…”

“That was prudent, planning ahead…that cool.”

“You burned up those hills today”…he tells her, “I would have thought you’d be at the finish line by now….”

“Eh, I wanted to take it easy the last leg too…besides its no fun riding in alone”

He thinks…["but you were with a pack of riders....?"]

She smiles

Corey smiles too, he didn’t realize it immediately, but he was glad she waited…He thought, ["maybe its time for a change of pace...rethink my cadence"]

He noticed his pulse rate was up again….weird cause they were on flat land now….five miles from the finish line. But then he realized what he was feeling at that moment as he looked at Mila, no longer had anything to do with cycling….He’d been chasing something all this time or rather someone…..

thank goodness she waited and let him catch up.

Arrivals and Departures

yoyodl — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:41:51 +0000

He was feeling really excited, his plane had landed thirty minutes early, soon he’d see her finally after five long years. He disembarks and heads for baggage claim. Yes he was full of anticipation, he’d thought about her a lot over the course of the last couple of months, she’d been a constant in his life granted it had been mainly through email and chatting, but she had always been there, a great friend and confidant. She encouraged him when self doubt overtook him, she teased and counseled him through budding and eventual failed relationships, she’d been that virtual shoulder for him to lean on. Now he’d see her again in person after five long years. [“How had she changed?”] he thought, he figured the photographs would continue to merely be a shadow of what she truly looked like in person. He remembered her being so much more gorgeous in the flesh. He gets to baggage claim and gets there just in time to see his bag exit the chute on to the carousel. He’s off to go catch the train, she’d been pretty thorough to give him instructions, it was just the one train to town and then either a bus or a good walk from the station to her place. She even offered to meet him at the station, but he said, she should sleep in this Saturday morning and that he’d give her a ring when he was close to her place.

They had met on a lark, it was a scavenger hunt someone had planned which ended up being a bust. But they ended up spending the daytogether sightseeing. From then on they had kept in touch and though she ended up moving away after a year, they continued their friendship in cyberspace.

He gets to the station after a short delay on the train, he gives her a call….

“Hi, its me…. I’m at the station.”

“Oh awesome, did you want me to come out to meet you?”

“Well, its still a bus ride to your place you said right?”

“Its a short bus ride or you can walk too, its about 6 blocks up and then one block down on the right….”

“Hmm, that doesn’t sound too bad….I think I’ll walk…”

“Really, you sure how much stuff do you have?”

“Oh just my backpack, it’ll be fine, besides I’ve been sitting for over 6 hours..it’ll be good to get the blood going….”

“Okay, call me when you’re close…”

“Will do…”

So he sets off on foot, walking through her neighborhood, he loved the architecture and just the overall feel of this place, it probably also helped that he just felt an overall sense of well being with anything associated with her.

He took his time, realizing that this early morning arrival probably took away from her normal Saturday morning routine, she’d generously offered to put him up during his stay; and while it had not been part of his original plans he was so appreciative of her for that. So he figured he should give her, her morning time and take his time walking over.

A good 20 minutes later he reached the block where her apartment was, it was very nice, it looked like how you’d picture neighborhoods here would look when a local described it to you. It felt like the kind of place she would love to stay at, it was her.

He reaches the door to her building and gives her a ring on the intercom, she comes on….

“Hey is it you?”

“Yup, unless you were expecting another visitor this morning?”

“cute, do you need help? I’m on the third floor and the stairs aren’t the most well designed stairs in the world?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“OK.”

She buzzes him in and he immediately figures out what she meant about the stairs, wooden, narrow steps that were a bit steep in grade and it spiraled up.

["Wow, THAT will be tricky..."] he smiled to himself.

He navigates his way up and reached her landing– her door was ajar…he knocked and opened it…there she was standing…still in her doggy themed pajamas…..

["Wow!!"] he thought to himself…a little flabbergasted….. ["nope pictures don't ever do her justice."]

“Hello you” she quipped with a smile as he walked in…she gave him a hug before he could even set his big backpack down.

“Hey pretty lady, did I wake you?…sleepy head…” he teased as he pointed to her pajamas….

“Hee hee, yeah, you know I don’t usually get up this early on a weekend…so you better appreciate it….”…she playfully hits him on the chest…

“I do, I do….”

“So make yourself at home….” ( he takes off the backpack and sets it aside near the couch….) “do you want the ultra deluxe nickel tour of the place?….” He nods as he looked at her beautiful face….this brings him to a different place in his mind….suddenly he realizes how much more he felt about her. In his mind’s eye he saw the two of them together….HAPPY, it was a future where they fall in love….they get married….have children and grow old together…..HAPPY, HAPPY times…..

“Hey, you listening?”…. she says as he snaps out of the daydream and is back in the apartment….

“Yeah, closet, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen…” he feins successfully. “yup….” she smiles “its small I know but it’s home for one….”

“It’s very you” … he says while dismissing the thought he had in his head ["I'd love for it to be a home for two.....but too much at stake with this friendship"] he thinks…. ["can't do it....can't risk the rejections...."]

“Are you okay?” she asks…again snapping him out of his inner thoughts….

“hmmm? oh yeah…yeah….”

“So what do you wanna do now, any big plans we should discuss for your stay?”

He smiles…and thinks… ["Oh if only I wasn't a chicken shit and can tell you...."]but instead he says….. “No, I kinda wanna wing this one, but of course I’d wanna hear suggestions from my beautiful local guide….”

She visibly blushes and smiles at him… “There’s lots to do, so you won’t be bored…just kinda depends on what you’re interested in….”

“BREAKFAST….”

“Breakfast?”

“Yeah, how about we start with breakfast…and go from there…..”

“Lovely idea…give me 10 minutes to change and look presentable…” ["Oh my god...lady you don't need to look anymore presentable...."] “and well go to my favorite breakfast place…”

“Great!!”

She heads off to her room leaving him to muse to himself…..

["Don't know where this is headed or if I can do this...but...small steps....we'll start with breakfast....."]

Rrrrrraaawwwrrrrr!!!

yoyodl — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:02:07 +0000

They met on a group date, friends of friends…She was five years his senior, a “cougar” if you will, although he was no spring chicken either. At dinner they talked about wine, about what they did for work, her ex-lovers, his failed relationships, they just kinda hit it off. One thing led to another and they ended up at her place. A night cap and some more intimate conversation landed the two of them in her bed.

She had been the aggressor, the initiator…he just followed her lead. She knew what she wanted and he was only too happy to try and please her.

“Fuuuck meee!!”, he exclaimed after what turned out to be an hour and a half of just raw sex where in she and he tried and explored different aspects of the carnal experience and REALLY got to know each other.

“MMMmmmm…I thought I just did”…she coyly insinuated as she nuzzled up next to him, giving a good sniff of his neck as she snuggled….

“Ha! funny..” he blurted out, “god I love your energy, you’re insatiable….”

“Are you complaining?”

“Oh not at all, but I’m not sure I could go another round, I think you drained me….”

“hmmmm, we’ll see.” as she reaches down his groin feeling for him…..

“Oh yeah….THAT is gonna be sore…” he quips as he feels his arousal come back with her touch…..